Equal Marriage

When I was a little girl I thought I would marry a charming prince just like the girls in Grimm's Fairy Tales. Most little girls fantasise about that. When I was in high school I decided that I would not marry because I did not want marriage to interfere with my career. I have changed my mind about that. Honestly, I find marriage overwhelming because of the expectations that society has of women. Just because a major part of the world has a patriarchal society, women are not given equal importance. The women who are alright with making compromises so that they can be considered a ''good wife'', do so because of social conditioning. I believe that we should always question things instead of just believing in them blindly. Traditions and customs should not be followed without trying to find out the meaning behind them. If they make no sense then they should not be practised.

I read newspaper articles and blog posts online and that's how I chanced upon an article on egalitarian marriage. I do believe that women and men are equal and that both should work and look after the house and the children. There is no such thing as a man's job or a woman's job and it makes no sense to associate certain roles with a particular sex. Who made the rules? Gender roles are created by norms and standards created by society. Our society which is primarily male-dominant has created gender roles that are biased against women and men. Women can be independent, active, decisive, logical and analytical. Men can be dependent, passive, emotional and verbal. Stereotypes make no sense at all they just put people in categories. There are always exceptions, we need to think outside the box and deconstruct what has been taught to us.

I remember during a Sociology lecture in college my lecturer told us, that the reason why the father of the bride walks her down the aisle and gives her away is that the burden of her responsibility is being passed on to the husband. I was shocked to hear this, Wedding ceremonies need to be egalitarian too. Also, a woman should not have to change her surname after marriage, she should keep her surname or both the husband and wife can take each others' surname and hyphenate them with their surname. The children should have the surname of their mother and father hyphenated. I find it so strange that even though it takes both woman and man to make a baby, the baby is always given the father's surname, not the mother's surname. You must be thinking, what's in a name? It means a lot actually, it's part of your identity.

A woman's identity is always associated with her father and her husband. It's very important to realise that a woman has an identity of her own. Education is what empowers us. It gives us the ability to discern. Making use of logic and rationality helps us to make sense of the world. It makes no sense to think that a particular sex is superior solely on the basis of their genitals!! When one thinks of all of the social conditioning that one has experienced since childhood, so much of it makes no sense. The media is definitely responsible for perpetuating gender stereotypes, but it can be used to promote egalitarianism between men and women as well.

Egalitarian marriage is not just a theory, it is happening in reality. Women have been always been, encouraged to marry a rich man. Nowadays women don't need a man to support them financially. The gender role of man as a ''breadwinner'' and woman as a ''homemaker'' is no longer relevant. People want to marry someone who has similar, interests, hobbies and goals. Women and men both provide for the family and look after the household chores. There are many men who would prefer to employ a housekeeper to look after the house, rather than help their wives. In my opinion, what is the need to employ someone else to look after the house when it can be done by the couple? It's financially practical too.

Child rearing has always been considered as the woman's job. Just because a woman carries the baby for nine months, doesn't mean she alone has to look after the child. It has to be done by both the parents. There are many women who compromise on their career after they marry and have children. I don't think a man would do that. There are women who earn more than their husbands and have to deal with their jealous husbands. It doesn't matter who earns more as long as both are earning. Religious interpretations are sexist as well but if they are analysed in an unbiased way, then I'm sure there is evidence of egalitarianism in the holy books. This change in gender relations is on the right path, a lot of progress is required and that will only happen if we change our beliefs.