Unrequited Love

I'm tired of reading this line on Facebook: "Ek tarfa pyaar ki taakat hi kuch aur hi hoti hai. Aurron ke rishton ki tarah ye do logon mein nahi banti. Sirf mera haq hai ispe". Translation: "The power of one sided love is unique, it doesn't get distributed to two people, as it happens in the relationships of others, only my right is there on it". 'Ae Dil Hai Mushkil' translated as 'O Heart It Is Difficult' has probably been successful in encouraging unrequited love. Well, that isn't healthy. This is one of the many ways in which movies can mess with our minds, to make us do things that aren't prudent. Far from being tender and noble, unrequited love is really painful if the lover doesn't move on. How is that wise?

Pursuing someone so that they will love you is not going to make them actually love you, the way you want them to. Even if one doesn't pursue, the decision to never fully move on and allow oneself the possibility of loving again restrains us. Maybe when we remove the rose-tinted glasses with which we see our love, we will realise that they're pretty ordinary. Putting someone on a pedestal doesn't mean that they really belong there.

Allowing ourselves to be "tied" to someone in this way is not going to allow us to grow and learn because we're not allowing ourselves to experience something new. No doubt we all want to protect ourselves from hurt, but I feel it's because we underestimate our capacity to deal with it in a healthy way. We can't possibly shield ourselves fully from negativity, so it's best we learn how to not let it mess with our minds. Most of all if we love ourselves enough we won't feel "incomplete" if that special someone isn't our lover anymore. After all, we're responsible for our happiness, someone else isn't.

After falling in and out of love more than once and trying to figure out this big deal, we make out of being loved by someone, I've realised healthy self-love and healthy attachment is very important. The whole crazy, obsessive, borderline stalking type of behaviour is only going to hurt us and push us further down. I hope we all learn to make peace with our past and move on to healthier relationships.